“Bison is not venison.” “But it is bison.”
[Well gather round children, zip it, listen]: At... →
neverdoubt-neverlookback: As I’m standing at my hostess stand, I’m watching all these people file through the door to wait to be seated. One person in particular happened to be this little frail old lady with a walker. Now, because we have rugs on the floor, walkers tend to get caught. She might have known this, but… …gosh I miss Denny’s
None of their hairs are real
When I'm trying to impress a person I like.
sodamnrelatable: Expectations: Reality: via sodamnrelatable
lurveleelee: if you don’t drink you’re not better than people who do if you do drink you’re not better than people who don’t if you don’t smoke you’re not better than people who do if you smoke you’re not better than people who don’t if you wear crocs there’s no help for you i’m sorry
roses are red tumblr’s blue come to my bed because i ship me and you
veescraps replied to your post: Today was just beyond frustrating. The owner is… what did he do? D: He’s just in a state because a) it’s Friday and b) it’s been dead all summer and a new bar is opening up down. And Fridays we’re usually slammed. So I was just out running food and drinks and he would stop me with hot food in my hand in front of a table, point at...
Today was just beyond frustrating. The owner is such a dick. Worse than old Denny’s boss on a Sunday
50 Shades of Me. DO IT
1. What is your best friends name?
2. What color underwear/boxers wearing now?
3. What are you listening to right now?
4. Whats your favorite number?
5. What was the last thing you ate?
6. If you were a crayon what color would you be?
7. How is the weather right now?
8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
10. Do you have a significant other?
11. Favorite TV show?
14. Hair color?
15. Eye Color?
16. Do you wear contacts?
17. Favorite Holiday?
19. Have you ever cried for no reason?
20. What was the last movie you watched?
21. Favorite Day of the Year?
22. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
23. Can you do a headstand (not using the wall)?
24. Hugs or Kisses?
25. Chocolate or Vanilla?
26. Do you want your friends to respond to this?
27. Who is most likely to respond to a text from you?
28. Who is least likely to respond to a text from you?
29. What books are you reading?
31. Favorite movies?
32. Favorite football Team?
33. What are you doing right now?
34. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn?
37. Dogs or cats?
38. Favorite flower?
39. Been caught doing something you weren't supposed to do?
40. Do you have a best friend of the opposite sex?
41. Have you ever loved someone?
42. Who would you like to see right now?
43. Are you still friends with people from kindergarten?
44. Have you ever fired a gun?
45. Do you like to travel by plane?
46. Right-handed or Left-handed?
47. How many pillows do you sleep with?
48. Are you missing someone?
49. Do you have a tattoo?
50. Anybody on Tumblr that you'd go on a date with?
why am I out of eggs wrrrg
usingtimewisely: the kid who volunteers to read and can’t pronounce 90% of the words.
trolllinginthedeep: trolllinginthedeep: Fun fact I knew this girl from camp who had a British accent but she wasn’t from England and then one day I went to her house and her parents didn’t have a British accent either so I asked her where she got it from because I was really confused and she told me her parents faked it until she was 7 because they wanted a child with a British accent
So Everett and I were goofing off in the kitchen and he threw a bucket of water at me. Now the headphone jack on my phone won’t work. Possibly getting it looked at tomorrow. But so mad. I still had tables and I looked like a wet cat. Also the phone thing
New Roommate has a record player So cool
Bob: GENE ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! THE NAME OF THE RESTAURANT IS 'BOB'S BURGERS'-
Gene: Well I call you Dad! I think of it as 'Dad's Burgers'!
Bob: YOU LIVE ABOVE IT! YOU WORK IN IT, EVERY DAY!
One of the kids on this episode of Criminal Minds is Evan Peters I watch too much TV
I need eggs Also shampoo. I can’t find Mane and Tail anywhere. I’ve been using derpy stolen shampoo from Colossal for the past week. Real shampoo would be nice, as I kinda need to dye my hair